When it comes to discussing sex in any religion there is bound to be some heated discussion on its mortality and how even thinking about sex makes you a sinner. For Catholics, even the discussion of using Birth Control sets the Church into a rage. The Roman Catholic, despite the modern age, still remains a boy's club where women are second class citizens. We're supposed to be seen and not heard; emulate the Virgin Mary. I can certainly tell you as both a Roman Catholic and a woman, all of that is complete CRAP! Even our priests and nuns are supposed to take vows of celibacy, setting them on pedestals, which make them somehow better than us because they abstain and concentrate on God's work. Of course we all know that's not true given the horrible scandals of child molestation and sexual abuse of young boys. Yet not all priests are like that; some sleep with women of an appropriate age and here's the kicker: The Church actually encourages this blatant breaking of the celibacy vow!
I've recently read a book called Mistresses: A History of the Other Woman, which dives into this unknown fact about the sexual habits of Catholic Priests. In a recent poll, about 20 to 30% of Catholic Priests are currently in a sexual relationship with a woman. The fact that they even admit that should speak volumes about the ambiguity of the Church's stance on sex altogether. Yet this shouldn't be a shock since for as long as there have been Catholic Priests there has always been his mistress.
The reason the Church turns a blind eye to this active practice is because: 1.) As long as it's kept quiet then the Church won't split hairs; 2.) A priest who indulges in a sexual relationship with a woman can be more understanding of the struggles of his congregation; 3.) Giving the appearance or label of celibacy, the church can fight any woman threatening to out the said priest or try to gain child support; 4.) The Church wants to keep the drop out rate down so letting priests continue to pursue a woman seems the best option.
Priests have housekeepers to do what a wife basically does: take care of the cooking and the cleaning. And there's a 50% chance that the Priest and his house keeper are involved with each other so it's almost exactly like having a wife. Yet single young women are not exactly ideal as they are more inclined to sue for paternity or financial support. Married women are the best option as they don't need support and the husbands are more likely to turn a blind eye and continue to support their wives financially.
Women who get pregnant are in the biggest trouble. Although the Catholic Church frowns on abortion, the priest will encourage his lover to get one, or put the child up for adoption OR sign a contract that states she will not tell the child of their paternity or anyone else for that matter. Women who try to sue the priest for child support while find little sympathy from the Church let alone the public. The Vatican has lawyers that they send to humiliate or embarrass the woman, which stops her from going further with the sue. It's not like in the case of child molestation that the victims are more than likely to get a settlement in the millions. As well as they should!
Yet priests having affairs with married women are preferred. The husbands definitely won't say anything (most of the time they're fine with the whole arrangement) and if she gets pregnant, the husband will claim paternity and no one will ask otherwise. Also the married woman won't cause a fuss for financial support. Catholics also frown on divorce. Divorce still happens but it takes a long time.
Believe it or not, this sort of arrangement has been going on for centuries. The priest's mistress being installed as his house keeper is an age old tradition. The villagers even supported this odd domesticity as it kept the priest from looking around for other trouble and made him more likable. However, Holy Roman Emperor William (who was a huge buzz kill and a stickler for the rules) sought to end this breach of conduct among priests. Like Immigration, soldiers or the appointed agent will go into town and question everybody about their village priest and then make a visit to the priest's home. These visits were random and were unannounced. Yet the villagers would warn the priest ahead of time so he could send his mistress and any children they have away. The villagers would lie for the priest, the local council would also help out by fibbing. Needless to say this frustrated the Holy Roman Emperor. So instead of these random checks, he would fine the priests heavily. Still the unspoken affairs continued.
It may all sound strange and outrageous but you have to understand that no matter what priests are still human. They are prone to give into temptation. And the woman? Well in the old days, women saw a priest as just another eligible bachelor like a doctor or a lawyer. Today priests meet their prospective lovers through the work they do for the church such as charities and masses. Admittedly the priest takes advantage of his status (as in the child molestation cases show) to seduce the woman. But sometimes it's the woman who initiates the affair. They see a man lonely and vulnerable, thinking that they could be the one to lead him through the harsh wilderness of passion.
Yet often times the priest has a conflict of conscience. He is split between his vocation and his desire for his lady love. Sometimes this results in the priest being too judgmental and over-critical of the woman he's involved with. However, the woman also sees this as the most intimate of relationships. She's the only one who sees the priest in his most intimate thoughts. She sees all of him, figuratively and literally. He confides in her. The act of confession is reversed and the woman becomes the priest's confessor. There are cases where priests and nuns enter a romantic relationship. They would leave the church, get married, and live happy lives together.
The Catholic Church is still a boy's club. If a woman were to enter in such a forbidden relationship, heaven help her. Anything goes wrong, and she'll be cast out into the cold. She'll be labeled a whore who made the priest stray. The priest is never to blame although he was never forced into anything. The priest is never in error, which is something we should re-think. To me priests are no different from anybody else. They just think they are because they believe they serve a higher purpose and are not bound to natural laws. BULL! A priest is flesh and blood. He will give into temptation. Most priests to day act as normal people. Most even go to baseball games and drink and curse however and when ever they want. All God asks is for us to try and be good people and leave the world better than when we found it. So if a priest wants to get involved with a mature, attractive woman, let him. It's too much to ask for him to give up everything.
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