Supergirl: Stop Calling Mon-El Abusive!

  Okay I understand why Kara broke up with Mon-El and I respect her for it (even though I disagree full heartedly) but what I don't understand are people calling Mon-El abusive or the Karamel ship toxic. Sure Mon-El lied to Kara about his identity but his fears were understandable. It just burns me up that people would say such things! If you don't like Mon-El that's fine but calling him abusive is a step too far! Here's the criteria for what classifies as an abusive relationship:

Kara is Supergirl. She doesn't let anyone push her around

1. tell you they cannot live without you (*Nope)

2. blame you for all their problems (*Hell no)

3. break or hit things to intimidate you (*Pffth as if)

4. threaten to hurt themselves or others if you break up (*No)

5. act jealous, say jealous things, or forbid you to speak with certain people (*There are healthy displays of jealousy. Only when it's constant is it alarming. Mon-El was jealous of Myxy but didn't forbid Kara from speaking to him and he hasn't shown jealousy since)

6. pressure you into having sex or force you to do sexual things you don't want to do by saying, "if you really loved me you would..." (*God no)

7. humiliate you and belittle your opinions (*Mon-El disagrees with Kara but he doesn't belittle her opinion)

8. slap or shove you in a seemingly playful way, but it happens often and doesn't seem right (*Kara could throw Mon-El through a wall. The first time he caught her by surprise and he just woke up from a coma so I'd react like that too)

9. seem jealous and possessive about the time you spend with your friends (*No)

10. constantly check up on you and ask where you are and what you are doing (*Mon-El gives Kara plenty of space)

She was about to fall so of course he catches her
like anyone with manners would

11. have severe mood swings or frequent bad moods (*He's happy a lot of the time)

12. want you to limit your other activities so you can spend more time together (*Mon-El bows to Kara's schedule and doesn't push)

13. want your relationship to get too serious too quickly and refuse to take "no" for an answer (*Nope)

14. blame past bad relationships on everything or everybody else instead of accepting any of the responsibility (*Mon-El takes full responsibility for being a womanizing jerk)

15. abuses drugs or alcohol and pressure you to take them also, even if you don't want to (*No)

16. believe men should be in control and women should do what they're told (*Mon-El believed that most women were damsels in distress but he learned that women are capable of handling themselves.)

17. treat you like property rather than a person they value (*Hell no!)

Look at the tenderness between them

    You know who does fit the 17 criteria? Bella and Edward from Twilight. And for those who love 50 Shades of Grey (*gag*) Christian and Anastasia also meet that criteria because the book started out as Twilight fan fiction! Kara dumped Mon-El but he still stayed on Earth because together or not Supergirl inspires him to be a better person and he wants to continue working with her. You can go ahead and celebrate that Mon-El and Kara are over but don't cite a reason for the break up as Mon-El being abusive or controlling. Kara is too smart and too much self esteem to get into that kind of relationship and it's an insult to her character for someone to suggest such a thing. Kara is not only a strong super hero she's a strong young woman. Give her more credit, will ya?

Grimm: Nadalind Is Officially Endgame (For Me)

   Grimm is almost over (which makes me sad every time I say it) but "Where the Wild Things Were" had a great scene between Nick and Eve. As a shipper for Nick and Adalind I was concerned when Eve started to feel that she would try to get Nick back or go back to being bad but her speech dispelled those fears. Though there are rumors that Nick and Adalind's romance may have a bitter end. I hope it's not true!!!

Eve has regrets but wouldn't change them

    When Eve and Nick were hunting down the big evil Wesen skull guy (I honestly can't remember its name because a lot of the Wesen species are hard to spell let alone pronounce) they came to the weird stone henge and Eve told Nick that she didn't regret meeting him or him not breaking it off with her sooner. The path they took was perilous but she wouldn't trade it for anything. She also mentioned that when they were together they both only knew the small part of Nick, his human self. It may not have worked out for Juliette and Nick but Eve isn't resentful. 

Can you believe they wanted to kill each other?

   I have mentioned something similar to what Eve said about Nick and Juliette not working out. It wasn't that they didn't love each other. Nick took his transformation with better stride than Juliette took with hers. Granted Juliette becoming a hexenbeist was much more terrifying but still her love for Nick wasn't strong enough to prevent the fallout between them. Juliette and Nick evolved and grew and they tried to make their relationship grow as well but it hit a point where the strains of the Wesen world were too much for them to keep hold of each other. Yes it was a terrible break up but bad things do happen for a reason although it doesn't feel like it at the time. 

Please don't sink my ship!

   Nick and Adalind started out as the worst of enemies. How ironic that one of Nick's greatest enemies became the mother of his son and now the love of his life. It was a major dark twist of events that led to Nick becoming a father and finding happiness again. I was concerned when Nick called Eve "Juliette" again when she was taken to the hospital. Did that mean old feelings were resurfacing? But we know that when Nick falls in love with someone he's all in. Nick hasn't told Adalind "I love you" but then Eve told Nick "You're in love with Adalind." He asked "Why would you ask me that?" Then she responded "It wasn't a question." This is verbatim but the message is clear. 

Please let them all live happily ever after!

   Despite all the bad things that happened, in Eve's mind it all worked out. Nick is a happy father and has found love again and he has the support of his friends. Nick's feelings for Eve are ones of responsibility because he once loved Juliette and it was because of him that she turned into a monster. But I feel like Eve has redeemed herself. Yet I've had a nagging feeling ever since I've heard a rumor that Nadalind may have a bitter end to their romance. Again I hope it's not true because I would prefer to have a nice wrap up of the series with no loose ends to leave me wondering (or crying in a fetal position if Nick and Adalind's relationship heads south!)...  I hope they all live happily ever after.

Supergirl: Mon-El & Kara A Super Ship

See how Mon-El kneels before Kara? That's worship
not dominance.

   Getting really tired of a lot of people ragging on Mon-El not just as a character but as Kara's new boyfriend. Some don't like him because of his character while others think Kara is losing her status as a powerful woman by letting herself be in love. Whatever your stance I'm going to list why Mon-El and Kara make a Super Ship...

"Is Kara... mated to anyone?" ~Mon-El

1. Mon-El Is Not A Weak Character!

        Chris Wood has become one of my favorite CW actors. He can play a psycho or a good guy but in both cases he still gives the character a sense of humor which entertains me. And Mon-El I think is what you would call a "cave-man playboy turned good boyfriend". Even though he could be misogynist and clueless about women deep down we see that he truly is a good guy making his transformation into a hero much more endearing. He actually wanted to change for Kara as well as himself which brings me to our next discussion...

Mon-El sees Kara as not just a superhero but
as a strong woman

2. Mon-El is inspired by Supergirl

     I saw on Twitter someone tweeting Mon-El and Kara fighting with the tag: YOU'RE MORE POWERFUL THAN ME AND I FIND THAT THREATENING! First of all, Mon-El was drawn to Kara's strength in character and spirit more than her super powers not threatened by them. Her real super power is her indomitable spirit. Mon-El preferred to keep his head down and out of trouble but watching Kara save the world, care and protect people inspired him to want to become better. Isn't that the goal of feminism? Where a powerful woman not only inspires other women but men as well? Mon-El is attracted to Kara's sense of heroism and independence. How she seems to be able to do it all. 

"Your eyes were so sad, so blue like comets..." ~Mon-El

3. Kara being in love doesn't diminish her power

      Even Super Women need a shoulder to cry on. True before they got romantically involved Kara had to teach Mon-El that she doesn't need a big man to come to her rescue. She even said, "I am not a damsel in distress I am Supergirl! I can handle myself!" Kara doesn't need a boyfriend but she like all super heroes need to have a support system whether it's romantic or platonic. It's not just a woman thing, men too feel that same romantic loneliness. And Mon-El is very supportive of Kara. Kara posted her blog exposing Cadmus's alien deportation plan despite her editor's orders not to and Mon-El said, "If you want to post that blob (he meant blog) then go ahead" because he could already see that she wanted to and he's learned that Kara will risk everything to save lives. Kara seeks advice to her problems not a fixer and Mon-El is a sympathetic ear as well as a shoulder to cry on whenever Kara's feeling weak or unsure. That's a woman's ideal relationship isn't it? To have someone who listens and supports them? Love doesn't weaken you, it makes you stronger. Second of all, stop calling it an abusive relationship. There is nothing to indicate that Kara is being abused. She can walk away any time she wants. Kara has incredible self esteem; if she views someone is being unnessacarily cruel or malicious in a relationship then she's done. Bella & Edward are in an abusive relationship (they've met the 17 criteria; I'm not kidding). Don't EVER compare the two!

Mon-El will do anything Kara asks whether it's as back up
or just a shoulder to cry on...

      When Kara said, "Maybe being Supergirl and having you is enough" She wasn't saying she didn't need a career. She loves being Supergirl and having a guy who supports her in everything she does, who makes her laugh and hugs her when she's sad. Mon-El and Kara aren't perfect but no relationship ever is. A powerful woman falling in love feels different from a powerful man falling in love. A woman doing a "man's job" is judged more harshly when things go wrong and a woman in a romantic relationship is sometimes seen as weak (in the eyes of women I found mostly...). For me that's the opposite! Love makes everyone vulnerable no matter their gender.

Haters gonna hate. Let them hate I love this ship!

 Whether you're a Supergirl or a Superman, relationships shouldn't be off limits. I can't change everyone's minds about Mon-El but I just wanted to get my feelings out there. Mon-El and Kara will have a rough road ahead but I think they can make it over the hurdles together.