Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Catholics are Vampires

        I'm a pretty decent vampire fan to the point that I recognize their place in our psyche and culture. Being that I'm also Eastern European (Slavic more precisely) and I was raised Roman Catholic, I see the immense similarities so vividly that I think if Vampires were real, they would be Catholic.

        Think about it for a few seconds. Let's go back to Ancient Rome. Jesus Christ has been dead a few decades. A sect of people are meeting in secret places, mostly grave yards in under ground tombs (the catacombs), drinking the blood and eating the flesh of a man who rose from the dead after being crucified and so achieved immortality. He promises immortality after death if you drink his blood. Sounds like a vampire to me. People meeting at night to enjoy human blood? All it's missing is a pair of fangs!

        It's possible that the vampire-like characteristics just bled into the story of Christ just as Christ's own story has been told centuries before by the pagans. Examples: Horus was born of fire without Isis having sex with Osiris; Krishna was conceived out of divine thought; and Mithras was born of a virgin, a carpenter, and promised eternal salvation to his followers and was referred to as "The Bringer of Light."  The Christians often melded the pagan traditions with their own so that the transition would be easier for the locals.

        If you're still skeptical then I'll get more into it. Becoming a vampire varies from culture to culture around the world but the one that makes more sense is consuming the vampire's blood then physically dying and by doing so, become reborn to live an eternal life. It's prominent in many mythologies that one must die in order to achieve immortality. One must shed his mortal shell to be reborn into a new life of greatness. You see it happen all the time in Greek Mythology where the hero ventures into the Underworld but then he emerges a new man who has gained new wisdom. Also Native Americans believed that consuming the flesh and blood of someone (mostly an enemy) then the consumer will absorb their powers. Consuming the blood of Christ is also an intoxicating idea where you feel the spirit of Jesus Christ fill your soul and so feel his powers. Some believe that Jesus Christ also has a bloodline, an actual bloodline that bled into the bizarre, yet intriguing bloodline called "The Merovingian Kings". The Merovingian Kings and Queens boasted many saints who could perform miracles. Having sacred blood running through your veins is an all powerful feeling. Our society worships blood: blue bloods are referred to people who come from a very rich or prominent family. Being a "pure blood" is someone whose family has never inter-bred with let's say another species. Calling someone a "mutt" is an insult saying that this person's bloodline has been diluted over the generations and so is impure and unworthy. 

         Red wine and blood have always been linked. In Louisiana, it was an old superstition that the spilling of wine foretold the spilling of blood. Wine has even been used in pagan rituals to replace blood. Wine, like to a vampire when drinking blood, gives an intoxicated feeling of euphoria and drinking too much allows our inhibitions to come down and enjoy life as vampires do. Think of wine as the key into letting out your personal beast. All that separates us from animals is our morals. Animals kill to eat, but humans kill for survival, self-defense, and sometimes horrifically for pleasure.

        On further reflection, people may argue: but in vampire myths, vampires don't have souls! Well... given that the Catholic Church has committed blood thirsty acts (the Inquisition ring any bells?), it would be hard to believe that they had a conscience about it. In books and media, vampires have exhibited a proud behavior, believing that they are above the laws of common man and so are not bound to them. Vampires do what they believe is in their own best interest kind of like the clergy of the church at the time.

       If that's not enough for you, then listen to this: vampires have a saint! St. Andrew is reputedly the patron saint of vampires and werewolves. On St. Andrew's feast day, vampires and werewolves walk around, prowling the night and having their own fun. If you read a book of saints you'll see that St. Andrew is the "unofficial" saint of vampires and werewolves, but he still watches over them.

      When the Christians came out of the darkness of the catacombs and into the light of the churches to worship in full view of the world, they lost little of their vampiric aspects. The message of immortality after death is still preached, we still drink the blood of Christ (an immortal) in hopes of gaining his powers, and we still like to have a party every once in while on a saintly feast day drinking wine and becoming intoxicated by its bloody familiar taste.
     

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