It's Hard Being Catholic

   When you hear the words: the Pope, the Vatican, Priests, Catholics; you automatically think: corruption, pedophilia, conspiracy, and backward ideals; however, when you're raised in this old and influential religion like I was, you didn't think those things before. No. You think about the sacraments, the rules, and that apparently that every Sunday you have to eat and drink the body and blood of Christ.
   Before Christianity became the official religion of Rome, a person heard about a cult (and every religion is a cult, there's little difference) that worshipped a man who rose from the dead, was born of a virgin, and they consumed his body and blood (so they were cannibals). The Romans were freaked out by this new religion, but what really pissed them off was that the Christians refused to worship the Emperor as a god (like they needed more people to make their egos bigger).
   After the struggle, Christians took over the Roman empire, turning it to monotheism, but all in all it was changing one tyrannical rule for another, except faith pays more because you are representing a power that no one can see. The Caesars managed to become reincarnated from togas to vestal robes. The popes were as corrupted and full of vice as much as the Roman Emperors. Say anything against the Bible and you were burned or if you were lucky enough you were just imprisoned or even "better" confess and repent THEN be burned. Electing a new Pope was a question of who will pay enough to occupy the seat, ideally some one old and not long for this world (and if not they would die from a mysterious illness).
    After the 21st Century the Catholic Church has seemed to reign in their vices and have cleaned house (or so they seemed after recent and continuing scandals of sexual abuse and the mysterious death of John Paul II).
   Growing up, I was not taught to read the Bible (not that we ignored it but we didn't read much of Deuterotomy or Corinthians) or about much of the Catechism (which is basically the do's & don'ts of Catholicism - like you can't have sex with your wife while she's on her period). I was taught to sit down and shut up, we talked about hell (I was yelled at for wearing capri pants that showed my knees - as if knees are a signal for sexual abuse!) and we also learned the white washed version of the bible. I learned the New Testament, I only read the Old Testament years later after I left Catholic School (which has since closed down and is now an office building) and was shocked to see so much violence, incest, and murder. I thought, wow! They missed a few chapters in school. Only when I started reading literature like Greek Myths and "1001 Arabian Nights" did I look back on those Precious Moments books did I realized that those bible stories for kids were useless!
   So I became a cynical, lax Catholic who doesn't even go to church on Christmas. Why ruin the parking for everyone else? Yet as a Catholic I must admit that although the Catholic School System is rife with problems, studies show that children who have attended Catholic school are more disciplined and better educated (I got the best grades in public high school). Also, as an aspiring writer who is also a fan of dramatic stories, the Catholic Religion offers great inspiration for theater.
    Being Catholic means holding onto old superstitions even if the Church recognizes that those old superstitions are obsolete (after 1985 or so, left handed people were no longer recognized as agents of the Devil; 1 of my Catholic School teachers told my sister that she would go to hell because she was left handed).
    Yes, Catholics are seen as superstitious, idol worshipping, sadistic, perverted, corrupted, and ultra-conservative but when you get down to it, the Catholic Church is not exactly flawed, Man is, which means ALL religion is flawed! Jesus preached forgiveness, but men hold grudges.
    The Catholic Church has done some good in the 20th century. If the Vatican had not remained neutral in WWII then most POW and rebels would have perished in POW & concentration camps. Priests and nuns would not have been able to pass through Nazi check points or keep hospitals open or even visit the sick in POW camps if they were involved on either side. And if it had not been for that old "Catholic Conscience" then Hitler would have kidnapped the Pope; luckily some of Hitler's officers were Catholic and thought this action unthinkable! A Nazi officer warned the Pope of the plot before he left Italy. Claus von Staffenbourg was a Catholic who joined the plot to kill Hitler because of his morals about the war and the concentration camps.
    Catholicism relies heavily on the faith of their followers through idols and objects (I still have a rosary hanging over my bed and anoint myself with holy water when entering a church). Objects are comforting. Catholicism is the closest tie we have to the old gods of creativity, majesty, and the belief in fate that we can reach higher than we can possibly imagine.  I feel that way every time I enter a Cathedral or Church with its stained glass windows and smell the sweet incense. I feel a peace for some reason; perhaps because, despite the fire and brimstone of the past, once I took the time to read the scriptures myself and make my own assessment, I took the good part of the message: be good to your neighbor; forgive others as well as your self, and even if all of mankind loses hope, as long as there is one good soul then there is still hope. I suppose that's one of reasons I haven't switched to any other religion.